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1980s

Machete Don't Tweet

12:45:00 PM
Through the powers that be of local New Haven moviedom, I was once again allowed to pre-screen a film before it's public release. I just got back from a late night showing of Machete Kills, Robert Rodriguez's second installment to his camp action flick Machete.


I am a fan of Robert Rodriguez. I don't always love his films. Spy Kids wasn't my cup of tea. However, I find the man himself very inspiring. Back in the mid 90's I watched as four indie directors took Hollywood by storm. Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Kevin Smith and Jim Jarmusch all struck me as these fiercely talented dudes who I could relate to. Rodriguez made El Mariachi which lead to Desperado. I read his book Rebel Without a Crew back then and was just floored. This guy was doing things I'd done! Difference being I was too scared to do anything with the results. He took it a step further by funding his film El Mariachi by being a test subject for long medical trials. He sold his body to science to fund his art. This is a guy I could get behind.
* I believe there is a revised version of this book that now also includes insight from Kevin Smith as well!


Regular readers of my blog may know that I love a good fucked up movie. I mean there are varying degrees of fucked up: so bad it's good, campy, cult, art house, gore, shock and schlock are some of my specialties. Machete was kind enough to combine a little of all of the above plus over the top action and special effects. Fans of bad cinema and bad action sang it's praises.

I would say spoiler alert, but the opening of the film is pretty much spoiler. So suck it up bitch pants I'm just saying it, Machete Part 3 will soon follow. Machete Kills Again... In Space! You get a preview of this awesomeness right off the bat. Boom! One part Star Wars, one part Star Trek sprinkle in tones of Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla add Machete and stir!
So this film's existence as a part 2 is merely to bring it's viewer from point A to point B. You need to see this to go into the next story ark.of Machete in fucking space.

Now here's what you get with the sequel: You still get Machete - Mexican James Bond, loving up the ladies. You still get ridiculous tongue in cheek jokes. Lots of fun explosions and cheesy hilarious fights and deaths. You still get the old 70's exploitation look and feel. You get injustice and most importantly, action and vengeance. But there is a different tone. My fellow theater goers say this was still good, but not as over the top as the original. I agree, it was not. Still good in it's own right.

I don't want to give away the whole movie. But a few things I'd like to touch on.
The return of Michelle Rodriguez and (sorta) Jessica Alba. Awesome! I love when sequels give you details and even closure on a character.
Kudos to Mel Gibson - the villain, and his first ever role as such. He should always be a villain. I couldn't see him as anything else now. (As in real life - haha, zing!) He was very entertaining as Voz, the visionary high tech millionaire bad guy.
El Camaleon - an awesome cheesetastic semi brilliant idea. One character played by four actors: Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas. A comic bookesque villain who kills anyone who sees it and then changes it's face... I am a Gaga fan, so very cool to see her on the screen. I only wish she'd had more lines.
Machete does in fact now embrace texting! But Machete don't tweet.
Carlos Estevez = Charlie Sheen using his real name. Well played Carlos, well played...
Sofia Vergara is a psycho villainess Madame, Desdemona. I LOVE a good female villain. She even kind of freaked me out a little in the scene pictured below. I would love to see her play some more deep dark crazy bitch roles. She has carved out a new category for me in types as well, I have discussed sexy/ugly, zombie/pretty. Now Vergara brings sexy/please stay on your half of the room.


What I honestly felt this film was lacking in was the gratuitous sex. I know that's kind of a what- the- who- now thing to say. But this is like making a grilled cheese - hold the cheese. Then you just have fried bread. There were some fun bow chicka bowbow moments, but no wear near enough nakedness. Perhaps that is waiting for the unrated BlueRay version...

What you will get from this is still an attention holding ridiculous exploitation flick so chock full of stars that if you blink you will miss someone. (Actually while I am thinking of it, I am pretty sure Paul Mitchell of hair care fame made a weird cameo..) Perfect for a fun night out.



action movies

The Comeuppance of Ty

9:38:00 AM

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away Ty Bargar, his brother Brett and myself worked at a little place called Best Video. We had a lot of good time there. Most movie rentals were free, patrons frequently asked for our opinions on flicks - some actually excited to hear our reviews, and if you worked there long enough you got immortalized in Best Video history with a staff pics sticker that hosted your name and likeness. Movie geek Nirvana I tell ya! But good times don't last forever. Video stores  have gone the way of  the laser disc since then. Best Video still stands - but is now partly a coffee shop and performance space that has some movies.
The Bargars and I all left Best of our own accord. Ty went renegade and took his movie reviews to the world wide web. Perhaps you've seen his site with Brett, Comeuppance Reviews. Or his previous work with Moe Porne on the podcast Drunk on VHS. He's my friend and a pretty kick ass dude!
I posted this pic of Ty on Facebook once and his Dad got mad. I assured him it was just a pellet gun. Also Ty has lost a lot of weight since this one. But still bad ass! 

Ty, do you know any Karate yet?

Haha, no, but we should know Karate by now! We have seen so many martial arts movies! 
A long time ago, at a birthday party, my sister and I all took a Karate class...the Sensei asked us to say "Kee-yaaaah!" a lot. True story!

How did you and Brett decide to start Comeuppance Reviews?
We noticed there were so many ridiculous action movies like Karate Cop or Shootfighter that no one has seen and thought we can review these with a sense of humor...never serious. 


What has been your favorite movie review for the site?

 Good question. We have a couple favorites: Death Ring, American Kickboxer 2, Night Of The Kickfighters, Ring Of Steel, and Project Eliminator.


How do you guys pick the movies to review? Is there a process?

It definitely has to be off-beat action from the 80s or 90s...where everything was still silly and not politically correct. 

Who are some of your favorite stars of the screen?

 Dolph Lundgren, Cynthia Rothrock, Lorenzo Lamas, Gary Daniels, and Billy Blanks. They always deliver the goods.

Do you consider most of what you review to be camp or serious action and why?

Camp would probably be Night Of The Kickfighters, it is a riot to watch. Adam West at his best. Straight Action: there is a killer flick called Action U.S.A. From beginning to end it is non-stop action.


Please explain to my readers what a triple punch is.

It's one punch from the left, one punch from the right, and then you put your fists together and then strike! BOOM! Triple punch.


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I'm Jillian Lyons - I'm a nerd girl. I'm passionate at running my own online shops and social media services. This blog is a place where I want to share all the things I love to you!

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